Because families often hold funerals just days after death — within 24 hours in certain religions — the process of planning a funeral can be overwhelming. There’s a lot to do, countless considerations to weigh, and seemingly endless lists of people to notify. On top of that, family and loved ones often grapple with their own grief and heavy emotions, which can impair decision-making and even paralyze the initial planning process.

But you can’t delay funeral planning. Right after your loved one dies, you need to start making arrangements. Many decisions connect to each other—choosing burial or cremation, for example, affects what you do next. Most of your planning will depend on how your loved one lived, what they wanted, and what feels right to help your family start healing.

Take a breath and start here with our Complete Guide to Planning a Funeral.

Working with a Funeral Expert

The first thing you do when a loved one dies is to call the funeral home. Call the location nearest you 24/7. Our funeral experts will answer your questions and arrange for the pickup of the body.

The funeral home will assist you with your immediate needs and serve as your primary point of contact for funeral planning. The funeral director can guide you through every step, from scheduling to planning the day and organizing key details, such as transportation and flowers. Don’t hesitate to ask questions—no doubt he/she has heard and seen it all, and while your questions may seem trivial or even outlandish to you, they’ll answer them quickly and authoritatively.

A good first step? Ask for our free Personal Planning Organizer so you can keep tabs on everything you’ve done and everything that needs doing, or make your own and include the following items:

Decide on the Basics

One key decision: burial or cremation? Each option brings unique considerations — cremating your loved one’s remains may open the door for a memorial service at some point now or in the future. At the same time, a burial typically requires a cemetery service within a few days. Choosing one or the other may also impact your immediate next steps, including everything from embalming and other preparations to visitation to options for interment.

Choose the location: If your loved one belonged to a particular religion or was affiliated with a local church, synagogue, or house of worship, your clergy can provide significant assistance. Clergy typically show understanding and flexibility when scheduling funeral services. They can help guide this process and inform you of other key details as they arise.

Typically, funeral services in a house of worship involve a suggested donation — most people consider a few hundred dollars to be an appropriate amount. When the person performing your loved one’s funeral doesn’t mention a recommended amount, consider $200 to $300, depending on your family’s relationship with the house of worship. If your loved one was actively involved in the community, they may have wanted you to make a more substantial donation.

Add personal touches: Will you include readings — and will those feature religious texts or personal eulogies and remembrances? Consider bringing in favorite flowers to adorn the casket and add color to the church or funeral home. Will you bury your loved one in a specific outfit she loved? Photos often create a meaningful display, and letters or other meaningful items can line the casket. What about music? And, above all, did your loved one leave any requests, or do you know what he or she would have wanted?

Many people choose a very personal funeral and service. With that comes many decisions and choices. Remember, there’s no right or wrong here — it’s all about what your loved one would want. Consider asking a close family friend or relative to assist with this piece. They’ll likely feel happy to help and, equally importantly, will free you up for other decision-making.

A final note: If your loved one supported a specific charity or nonprofit, consider asking for donations instead of flowers. You may even consider requesting donations for the hospital or hospice where the deceased spent their final days or a charitable organization connected to a disease or illness that impacted them — think the American Cancer Society, American Heart Society, or the Alzheimer’s Association.

Be sure to make this decision upfront because mourners will begin sending flowers immediately. Publishing this information in their obituary and notifying friends and family of your wishes will help maximize donations. Our funeral experts can guide you through these processes and other decisions. 

Cost Considerations

In 2024, the average U.S. funeral cost more than $7,000, which doesn’t even include the cemetery. Keeping costs reasonable represents one of our founding principles, and we’ll help you find the best option for you and your family.

Amid the planning process, emotions can run high, and cost considerations can often take a backseat. This is, after all, the funeral for a beloved friend or relative. You need to assess your options, weigh costs, and determine the best next steps for you and your family.

Don’t make decisions because you feel pressured, think it’s “easier” for the funeral director, or don’t want to disappoint others. If you don’t see an option you like, ask to see alternatives. Please don’t hesitate to share your concerns if a casket, vault, or cemetery plot exceeds your budget.

You will probably plan only one or two funerals in your life, and that means, when the time comes, you’ll likely have countless questions, concerns, and considerations tied to every step of the process. Go with your instincts, review any final requests your loved one left, and focus on planning a funeral that reflects and celebrates his or her life.

Take a breath and dive in — you have limited time, and remember, there are no wrong decisions. Whatever choices you make during this difficult time are valid and appropriate.

Indiana Memorial Group Blog